[IBL] Annual Baltimore Sand Crabs Season Preview (2019 Edition)

Sat Feb 16 18:13:38 EST 2019

2019 Baltimore Sand Crabs

As winter turns into polar vortex, a young man’s thoughts obviously turn
towards secondary football leagues and (eventually) baseball.  IBL starts
eventually and so it’s time for the annual fun fest known as the Baltimore
Sand Crabs Baseball Preview and Chili fest (note: the chili fest has been
cancelled).  Most of the excitement for 2019 comes from the fact that the
Crabs move from the AC West over to the NC West.  This meant getting the
stadium ready to meet the stringent NC  requirements.

 As you can see in the picture, we are ready!

[image: image.png]

*POSITIONAL PREVIEW*

*Catchers*

DET McCann (225)

CHA Castillo (220)

DET Hicks (230)

Those numbers are the players weights since I couldn’t find a good
statistic to place next to the catchers.  For every Molina and Realmuto out
there, there are hundreds of McCanns and Hicks.  At least there are enough
PA’s here to get through the season.  That can be seen as both good news
and bad.  At least we’ve found our #9 batter in the lineup.

*First Base*

SEA Healy (.688)

TEX Guzman (.722}

BAL Mancini (.715)

DET Hicks (.715)

MIA O’Brien (.868)

After drafting Guzman and O’Brien in the draft, the Crabs have immediately
petitioned the league to allow for multiple first basemen to start each
game.  If that doesn’t succeed, the Crabs will be forced to go on another
trading spree.  Ryon Healy has immediately been placed on the trade bait
list (along with most every other Crab player…but Ryon is at the TOP of the
list).  Oh, and the number next to each player is their OPS from last year

*Second Base*

HOU Altuve (3)

CHA RondonJ.  (2)

Altuve is back for his 4th season as the Crabs 2nd baseman.  Perennial MVP
each year (in the real majors, in the IBL he K’s too often but the IBL
isn’t real life).  Gotta love penciling in Jose every day at the top of the
order.  Would be nice if he actually would hit .322 all of the time, but
I’ll take the .322 last year (the .290 the year before must’ve been my
imagination).  The number in their parenthesis, the number of languages
that player speaks.

*Shortstop*

LAN Machado (0)

TEX Andrus (1)

CHA RondonJ.  (1)

I think I liked it better when Manny was manning the hot corner for the
Orioles.  Who knows….will I be rooting for the Padres this year?  Ack.
Manny and Elvis have enough PA’s to be the fulltime shortstop.
Unfortunately, much like 1st base, I’m only allowed to start one a game.
Sounds like a bullshit rule if you ask me.  More tradebait!!    Maybe a buy
one, get one free sale?  And the number?  The number of teams the player is
currently playing for

*Third Baseman*

NYA Andujar (27)

LAN Machado (37)

It’s easy to think that Andujar, since he was a 1st round pick, will be
around for a long time.  But Crab 1st round picks are kinda like drummer
for Spinal Tap.  Let’s just say, don’t buy green bananas.  Andujar will be
penciled into the #3 slot early in the season and that .328 OBA should come
in handy.   The numbers are the number of home runs last year in the majors.

*Leftfield*

BAL Mancini (-2)

SEA Gamel (1)

CLE Davis (-1)

WAS Eaton (-1)

Oh to have a glove among the group….but they can hit at bit.  Mancini gets
the start most days with Gamel getting the rest.  No shortage of plate
appearances here, which meant that Schwarber was expendable (we miss ya
Kyle!).  Will we live to regret that?  We’re the Crabs, you KNOW we
will….we’re the CRABS.  The number is their arm strength.

*Centerfield*

CLE Davis (38)

KC Goodwin (28)

MIL Broxton (29)

Rajai Davis has the most PA’s there, still has some speed.  That’s the good
news.  The bad news is that Davis is somewhere between 55 and 90 years
old.  Goodwin needs to find a bat and then maybe he’ll get more plate
appearances in the real world.  Broxton, who is no spring chicken at 29,
has a glove.  A late inning defensive replacement for those games when the
Crabs might be……ha ha……winning.  Oh to dream.  And that’s their ages (ugh).

*Rightfield*

WAS Eaton (.301)

KC Goodwin (.239)

SEA Gamel  (.272)

MIL Broxton (.179)

Got Eaton last year with all of his usage used up.  Now we actually get to
see him in the lineup.  About freaking time!  Probably going to bat cleanup
in the daily lineup, should be fun.  Again, Broxton can be the late inning
guy and Gamel will get some time out there too.  Goodwin can play there
too, but why?  Lots of choices here.  Batting averages this time.

*DH*

BAL Trumbo

If for no other reason than to shout “TRUMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” whenever he
launches one.  And that’s about all that he’s good for.  The occasional
round tripper.  No number, he’s TRUMBOOOOOOO.

*Starting Rotation*

COL Freeland (1.245)

PHI Eflin (1.305)

NYA Happ (1.131)

OAK Fiers (1.180)

ATL Gausman (1.301)

PIT Williams (1.178)

You know, I’ve had Cy Young winners, I’ve had aces, and they’ve sucked.
Don’t know if the numbers matter.  But these 6 should provide innings, and
if their WHIPs are any indication (the number this time), they
should….SHOULD….keep the Crabs in some games.  They’re not flashy, but I’ll
take it.  I’ve certainly had worse (Jon Garland anyone?)

*Relievers*

NYA Robertson (1.31)

BOS Brasier (.86)

CLE Hand (1.48)

STL Poncedeleon (.94)

ARI Bradley (1.05)

Relievers are a dime a dozen, right?  They can’t be relied on and seem to
come and go.  At least I’d like to think so.  This year, a pair that I’ll
be relying on were late round draft picks (Brasier and Poncedeleon).  Hand
was in a trade during the off season.  The numbers this time?  Strikeouts
per inning.  You want to see nice numbers in your relievers.  They’re not
Kimbrel gaudy, but I’ll take nearly 1-1/2 K’s per inning from a closer)

*Conclusion*

You’ve read this far?  Damn, the AAF game or the race must have been
boring.  Well, you made it this far, you deserve something.  Go get
yourself a cookie, I’ll wait.  ….. Back?  Cool.  OK, so that’s the team
this year.  This will be my 10th season in the IBL (I can hear some owners
going “damn, it’s been that long?”) and I’ve thought we’d be good some
years (and we’ve sucked) and some years I’ve known that we’d lose 100 games
(and we did).  I used to think this was a game based on stats, but it’s
not.  It’s a random dice game with a rollbot who hates my guts.  When the
sportsbook in Reno was consulted about win totals for the Crabs, they
pegged the number at 94.  Then I told them that there were only 162 games
in the season, not 300 and they revised the number.  They pegged the number
at 72 and I think that’s a safe number.  On a more positive note, we’ve
hired a new mascot to entertain the folks during the game.  I’d like to
introduce FUEGO DEL BASURERO!!!!
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