[IBL] Annual Baltimore Sand Crabs Season Preview (2019 Edition)

[Todd Morgan]

I don't read much IBL stuff any more, but I still read Doug's previews...
because they are awesome.

Todd
ex-something

On Sat, Feb 16, 2019 at 3:31 PM Doug Palmer <aeronutty43 at gmail.com> wrote:

> 2019 Baltimore Sand Crabs
>
>
>
> As winter turns into polar vortex, a young man’s thoughts obviously turn
> towards secondary football leagues and (eventually) baseball.  IBL starts
> eventually and so it’s time for the annual fun fest known as the Baltimore
> Sand Crabs Baseball Preview and Chili fest (note: the chili fest has been
> cancelled).  Most of the excitement for 2019 comes from the fact that the
> Crabs move from the AC West over to the NC West.  This meant getting the
> stadium ready to meet the stringent NC  requirements.
>
>
>  As you can see in the picture, we are ready!
>
>
>
> [image: image.png]
>
>
>
> *POSITIONAL PREVIEW*
>
>
> *Catchers*
>
> DET McCann (225)
>
> CHA Castillo (220)
>
> DET Hicks (230)
>
>
>
> Those numbers are the players weights since I couldn’t find a good
> statistic to place next to the catchers.  For every Molina and Realmuto out
> there, there are hundreds of McCanns and Hicks.  At least there are enough
> PA’s here to get through the season.  That can be seen as both good news
> and bad.  At least we’ve found our #9 batter in the lineup.
>
>
>
> *First Base*
>
>
>
> SEA Healy (.688)
>
> TEX Guzman (.722}
>
> BAL Mancini (.715)
>
> DET Hicks (.715)
>
> MIA O’Brien (.868)
>
>
>
> After drafting Guzman and O’Brien in the draft, the Crabs have immediately
> petitioned the league to allow for multiple first basemen to start each
> game.  If that doesn’t succeed, the Crabs will be forced to go on another
> trading spree.  Ryon Healy has immediately been placed on the trade bait
> list (along with most every other Crab player…but Ryon is at the TOP of the
> list).  Oh, and the number next to each player is their OPS from last year
>
>
>
> *Second Base*
>
> HOU Altuve (3)
>
> CHA RondonJ.  (2)
>
>
>
> Altuve is back for his 4th season as the Crabs 2nd baseman.  Perennial
> MVP each year (in the real majors, in the IBL he K’s too often but the IBL
> isn’t real life).  Gotta love penciling in Jose every day at the top of the
> order.  Would be nice if he actually would hit .322 all of the time, but
> I’ll take the .322 last year (the .290 the year before must’ve been my
> imagination).  The number in their parenthesis, the number of languages
> that player speaks.
>
>
>
> *Shortstop*
>
> LAN Machado (0)
>
> TEX Andrus (1)
>
> CHA RondonJ.  (1)
>
>
>
> I think I liked it better when Manny was manning the hot corner for the
> Orioles.  Who knows….will I be rooting for the Padres this year?  Ack.
> Manny and Elvis have enough PA’s to be the fulltime shortstop.
> Unfortunately, much like 1st base, I’m only allowed to start one a game.
> Sounds like a bullshit rule if you ask me.  More tradebait!!    Maybe a buy
> one, get one free sale?  And the number?  The number of teams the player is
> currently playing for
>
>
>
> *Third Baseman*
>
> NYA Andujar (27)
>
> LAN Machado (37)
>
>
>
> It’s easy to think that Andujar, since he was a 1st round pick, will be
> around for a long time.  But Crab 1st round picks are kinda like drummer
> for Spinal Tap.  Let’s just say, don’t buy green bananas.  Andujar will be
> penciled into the #3 slot early in the season and that .328 OBA should come
> in handy.   The numbers are the number of home runs last year in the majors.
>
>
>
>
>
> *Leftfield*
>
> BAL Mancini (-2)
>
> SEA Gamel (1)
>
> CLE Davis (-1)
>
> WAS Eaton (-1)
>
>
>
> Oh to have a glove among the group….but they can hit at bit.  Mancini gets
> the start most days with Gamel getting the rest.  No shortage of plate
> appearances here, which meant that Schwarber was expendable (we miss ya
> Kyle!).  Will we live to regret that?  We’re the Crabs, you KNOW we
> will….we’re the CRABS.  The number is their arm strength.
>
>
>
> *Centerfield*
>
> CLE Davis (38)
>
> KC Goodwin (28)
>
> MIL Broxton (29)
>
>
>
> Rajai Davis has the most PA’s there, still has some speed.  That’s the
> good news.  The bad news is that Davis is somewhere between 55 and 90 years
> old.  Goodwin needs to find a bat and then maybe he’ll get more plate
> appearances in the real world.  Broxton, who is no spring chicken at 29,
> has a glove.  A late inning defensive replacement for those games when the
> Crabs might be……ha ha……winning.  Oh to dream.  And that’s their ages (ugh).
>
>
>
> *Rightfield*
>
> WAS Eaton (.301)
>
> KC Goodwin (.239)
>
> SEA Gamel  (.272)
>
> MIL Broxton (.179)
>
>
>
> Got Eaton last year with all of his usage used up.  Now we actually get to
> see him in the lineup.  About freaking time!  Probably going to bat cleanup
> in the daily lineup, should be fun.  Again, Broxton can be the late inning
> guy and Gamel will get some time out there too.  Goodwin can play there
> too, but why?  Lots of choices here.  Batting averages this time.
>
>
>
> *DH*
>
> BAL Trumbo
>
>
>
> If for no other reason than to shout “TRUMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” whenever he
> launches one.  And that’s about all that he’s good for.  The occasional
> round tripper.  No number, he’s TRUMBOOOOOOO.
>
>
>
> *Starting Rotation*
>
> COL Freeland (1.245)
>
> PHI Eflin (1.305)
>
> NYA Happ (1.131)
>
> OAK Fiers (1.180)
>
> ATL Gausman (1.301)
>
> PIT Williams (1.178)
>
>
>
> You know, I’ve had Cy Young winners, I’ve had aces, and they’ve sucked.
> Don’t know if the numbers matter.  But these 6 should provide innings, and
> if their WHIPs are any indication (the number this time), they
> should….SHOULD….keep the Crabs in some games.  They’re not flashy, but I’ll
> take it.  I’ve certainly had worse (Jon Garland anyone?)
>
>
>
> *Relievers*
>
> NYA Robertson (1.31)
>
> BOS Brasier (.86)
>
> CLE Hand (1.48)
>
> STL Poncedeleon (.94)
>
> ARI Bradley (1.05)
>
>
>
> Relievers are a dime a dozen, right?  They can’t be relied on and seem to
> come and go.  At least I’d like to think so.  This year, a pair that I’ll
> be relying on were late round draft picks (Brasier and Poncedeleon).  Hand
> was in a trade during the off season.  The numbers this time?  Strikeouts
> per inning.  You want to see nice numbers in your relievers.  They’re not
> Kimbrel gaudy, but I’ll take nearly 1-1/2 K’s per inning from a closer)
>
>
>
> *Conclusion*
>
>
>
> You’ve read this far?  Damn, the AAF game or the race must have been
> boring.  Well, you made it this far, you deserve something.  Go get
> yourself a cookie, I’ll wait.  ….. Back?  Cool.  OK, so that’s the team
> this year.  This will be my 10th season in the IBL (I can hear some
> owners going “damn, it’s been that long?”) and I’ve thought we’d be good
> some years (and we’ve sucked) and some years I’ve known that we’d lose 100
> games (and we did).  I used to think this was a game based on stats, but
> it’s not.  It’s a random dice game with a rollbot who hates my guts.  When
> the sportsbook in Reno was consulted about win totals for the Crabs, they
> pegged the number at 94.  Then I told them that there were only 162 games
> in the season, not 300 and they revised the number.  They pegged the number
> at 72 and I think that’s a safe number.  On a more positive note, we’ve
> hired a new mascot to entertain the folks during the game.  I’d like to
> introduce FUEGO DEL BASURERO!!!!
> [image: image.png]
>
>
>
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