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</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 0pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Gentlemen.</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
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</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">As this is obviously
the time of the year when trade flyers pervade our emails like pleas from
Nigerian Princes looking for financial shelter, I bring you the trade flyer of
which you have all been awaiting with the anticipation of a young child in the
days before Christmas. Yes, I have heard
your longings for the trade flyer that puts all other trade flyers to shame and
I say onto thee….behold and cast your gaze upon the feast which I present to
you. Therefore, without further adieu, I
give you the</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
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</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif""><font size="4">Baltimore Sand Crab
Mid-Season Trade Flyer</font></span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Sayeth the bard, “Brevity
is the soul of wit”. Or perhaps that was
Jim Leyland, I’m not sure. Either way, I
have subscribed to this philosophy all my life (although my subscription continuously
gets lost in the mail). The BS Flyer (I’ve
shorten the name…see? Brevity!.....LOOK IT UP!!) is composed of just two
names. But when you read the names, you
will salivate with excitement. The hairs
on the back of your neck will rustle and your knees may buckle. For the names contained here within make
Honus Wagner looks like a poor man’s Luis Valbuena. Note that once you’ve read the names, you
will never be able to un-read them.</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">First on the list is a
man…well, he’s much more than just a mortal man. When he calls a game, young women weep. Grown men shave and children simply look in
awe. He has the arm of a Greek God. Sal Butera once called this man “a catcher”. And when asked about his incredible arm,
Johnny Bench was quoted as saying “who?”.
Ignore the “0” throwing rating that the bureaucrats at PtP have given
him (they’re just jealous). Ignore the “2”
error rating and the “F” range (again, it’s all politics). He’s a -2 stealing rating because he spends
his free time saving kittens in trees.
His name is synonymous with “serviceable”. That man, that GOD among us, is Hank
Conger. Yes people, THE Hank Conger is
available. While it breaks my heart to
part with the “man who would be great”, sometimes one must part with something
that is so much more than he shall ever be.
And that player is “Hank Conger”.
And while I’m sure that I COULD ask for a #1 or #2 pick, I won’t insult
your intelligence. The “politics” that
pervades our society today makes it impossible to ask for such a draft pick for
the likes of Hankerin’ Hank, although I’m sure you will all agree that he’s
worth that AND MORE due to his charisma.
No, he has asked….nay…DEMANDED that I receive no more than a #5 draft
pick for his services. That’s the kind
of man that “Home-Schooled” Hank is.
Humble doesn’t begin to describe that who is Conger. </span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">So, if you feel that
you are WORTHY of accepting “Handsome” Hank into your fold, I will listen to
said request. But be wary, for once you
have had Sir Hank of Conger into your clubhouse, your clubhouse will never be
the same again. And you may just learn
something about yourself that you never knew before. I know that I am a better person for having Hank Conger (his card anyway) in my life. His card is so much more than numbers and letters. It's a microcosm of what IS life. </span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif""> </span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 0pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Doug Palmer</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 0pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">GM/Groundkeeper/PR Man for Hank Conger</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 0pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Baltimore Sand Crabs</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif""> </span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
</font><p style="background:white;margin:0in 0in 6.75pt;line-height:normal;vertical-align:middle"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"">Oh yeah, Jose Tabata
is available too.</span></p><font color="#000000" face="Times New Roman">
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